I'd like to share a quote I saw on another web site today:
"Those who claim that homosexual people threaten to dismantle the value of heterosexual marriage would do well to remember that if anyone destroys marriage, it is married people, not gays and lesbians." -- Right Rev. Dr. Peter Short, Moderator of the United Church of Canada in an open letter to all members of Parliament.
Has anyone ever gotten a real answer to the question "How, exactly, does gay marriage threaten, devalue, undermine or otherwise harm the institution of marriage?"
We see all sorts of rhetoric regarding "protecting the children" from gay marriage, but isn't marriage how we protect those children?
I saw one member of Congress (or the Senate?) a few months ago commenting that, if we allowed gay marriage, more children would be born out of wedlock. HUH? I couldn't figure out the logic in that statement. If gays and lesbians were allowed to marry, then these children would not be born out of wedlock. By denying these marriages, those same children will be born out of wedlock and, denying those marriages won't prevent those children from being born anyway.
I find it pitiful that these homophobes would hide behind children -- but then again, they use "protect the children" for the emotional effect it produces, not as a matter of any real logic or rationalization.
"It's not natural" is another one of my favorite arguments. Says who? Throughout the world, homosexuality has been found in almost every living species. While the argument can be made that these are unintelligent animals without the ability to reason, it is exactly that which defeats the argument that homosexuality is a choice, isn't it?
"These people just want to indoctrinate more children into the homosexual lifestyle." Then who indoctrinated us? Our straight parents?
"These people want to redefine marriage -- they want to re-shape the tradition of marriage, something that has been defined throughout the history of man." If marriage had not been redefined, women would still be sold as chattel for a large dowery by their fathers. If marriage had not been redefined, marriages would still be "arranged" and would not be based on mutual love and respect for each other -- it'd still be a business deal based on what's best for the larger family. If marriage had not been redefined, mothers would still be in the home, cooking and cleaning and raising the kids while their husbands earned the only paycheck to come into the house. They would also be subject to whatever abuse their husbands heaped upon them. If marriage were to be exactly as it originated, there would be a requirement that the wife be a virgin, or face cruel penalties.
Don't tell me that we want to "redefine" marriage -- the heterosexuals have done that throughout history in order to adapt to the times, cultures, and societal needs. Why else would it be easy to get married in a marriage-mill chapel in Las Vegas, or get a "quickie divorce" in Mexico? Why else would there be "no fault, no contest" divorces where it allows the couple to just give up on the marriage and walk away?
And what about the Gen-X'ers who now have the term "starter marriage" to describe a first marriage where they "learn" about marriage and, if it doesn't work out, they walk away?
"Marriage and family experts — psychologists, sociologists, lawyers and clergy — are beginning to look at these brief young unions, seeing in their implications a barometer of society's attitudes about marriage and divorce. Some say starter marriages signal the need for more premarital counseling."—Deborah Schupack, "'Starter' Marriages: So Early, So Brief," The New York Times, July 7, 1994
Doesn't this redefine marriage? How does two people wanting to make a lifetime commitment to each other, fighting tooth and nail to make that commitment, redefine the essence of marriage? Isn't this exactly what marriage is all about? Love, respect, commitment, walking through the fires of hell for the sake of the relationship?
Then there's the "If homosexuals get married, they'll do it just for kicks and there will be more divorces for them." Just for kicks...you mean like Brittany Spears? You mean like a lot of heterosexual couples who get married for all the wrong reasons? This "We'll save them from themselves" mentality makes me want to vomit sometimes.
Do people really believe this drivel, or are they just parrotting what they hear on the television from the likes of Jerry Falwell and Jimmy Swaggart?
And let's talk about these two guys here for a minute.
Jerry Falwell attacked a children's television character (Tinky Winkie) claiming that it was a symbol for homosexuality with his purple color, triangle head, and purse. In the first place, the Teletubbies are basically genderless. So how do we know it's improper for one or any of them to carry a purse? Secondly, the triangle doesn't have to represent anything, especially when another character has a circle on its head, and another has what appears to be a lightning bolt on its head. Should we infer, per Mr. Falwell, that the lightning bold signifies the darkness of Satan? Should we infer that the circle looks more like a bulls-eye to advocate less restrictive laws on gun control? Doesn't this guy have anything better to do than to attack children's television programming?
Jimmy Swaggart really messed up when he said, in front of a live audience on a program televised throughout the country, "If one of them looked at me in that way, I'd kill him and tell God he died." It's bad enough that Jimmy Swaggart, with that one statement, advocated violence against gays just for a LOOK and THEN HE'D LIE TO GOD ABOUT IT, but what I found more disturbing was that the audience applauded him. He later apologized, but hasn't that damage already been done? And this from a confessed pornography addict and patron of prostitutes? This from a man who is rumored to have had extramarital affairs? This from the man who described the prophet Muhammad as a pervert" and a "sex deviant?"
Why is it that these so-called "Men of God" use lies, deceit, and hatred to convince people that homosexuality is wrong? Most likely because they can't justify it in any other way -- they're not content to teach their followers to read the Bible, and pray for understanding of what the Bible means. No, they have to take it a step further and incite violence against gays, tell people that the gay community is after their children [“It’s one thing to say, `We have rights to jobs...we have rights to be left alone in out little corner of the world to do our thing.’ It’s an entirely different thing to say, well, `We’re not only going to go into the schools and we’re going to take your children and your grandchildrenand turn them into homosexuals.’ Now that’s wrong.” -- Pat Robertson, 700 Club] and to make people AFRAID of homosexuals -- fear is the most powerful motivator known to man and you can't tell me that these men who claim to speak the word of God don't know this and use it to promote and spin their own personal brand of hate.
I'm often reminded of a line from the movie "Oh God!" Paul Sorvino plays the Reverend Willie Williams, a Falwell/Robertson/Swaggart sort of minister who is suing Jerry Landers (played by John Denver) for libel and slander after Landers, in front of a television audience, branded Williams a fraud after having conversed with God concerning the reverend. Jerry tells the minister "God says that you claim to be spreading God's words, but the problem is, you ran out of Gods words a long time ago" (not an exact quote).
I think these televangelists and the Pope have long since run out of God's words, too. They use their power and position to strike fear in the hearts of the faithful, and teach hate, intolerance, and prejudice -- values which directly contradict those taught in the Bible.
Perhaps these guys need to open their Bibles and read them for a change?
Monday, January 24, 2005
Sunday, January 23, 2005
Our gas grill -- after the storm!
As you can see, we got quite the storm! The state police are asking people to stay off the roads until they can get them cleared. One highway was closed because it snowed so hard even the plows couldn't get through.
It's beautiful outside -- just damn glad I don't have to drive to work in the stuff! :-)
Friday, January 21, 2005
Fluff
It's damn cold here!
We've had snow most of the week, in varying amounts. There's 9 inches of snow on top of our grill out on the patio. Joe's been out with the snowblower almost every day this week. We've gotten hit with a lot of "lake effect" snow. If you're interested in this phenomenon, you can read about it here:
http://www.islandnet.com/~see/weather/elements/lkefsnw1.htm
Anyway, as of this writing (at 1:57 PM) it's ONE degree outside with a wind chill of MINUS thirteen. We are under a "winter storm watch" through tomorrow, with an additional 6 inches of snow predicted for our area (NOT lake-effect stuff, so it won't be as light and fluffy). However, the western southern tier of NY (where my daughter lives) has the greatest potential for a substantial amount of snow accumulating.
The good news is, we've got groceries, kerosene (for the heaters, in case we lose power), bottled water, and all kinds of emergency stuff laid on (thanks to our C.E.R.T. training).
The bad news is, I'm out of wine!
Looking forward to a quiet weekend - Joe bought "Troy" and, although we've seen it once, I think I'd like to see it again. Something about curling up on the couch, snuggled up against my honey, under a warm afghan, fire in the fireplace, watching a good movie.
Stay warm!
We've had snow most of the week, in varying amounts. There's 9 inches of snow on top of our grill out on the patio. Joe's been out with the snowblower almost every day this week. We've gotten hit with a lot of "lake effect" snow. If you're interested in this phenomenon, you can read about it here:
http://www.islandnet.com/~see/weather/elements/lkefsnw1.htm
Anyway, as of this writing (at 1:57 PM) it's ONE degree outside with a wind chill of MINUS thirteen. We are under a "winter storm watch" through tomorrow, with an additional 6 inches of snow predicted for our area (NOT lake-effect stuff, so it won't be as light and fluffy). However, the western southern tier of NY (where my daughter lives) has the greatest potential for a substantial amount of snow accumulating.
The good news is, we've got groceries, kerosene (for the heaters, in case we lose power), bottled water, and all kinds of emergency stuff laid on (thanks to our C.E.R.T. training).
The bad news is, I'm out of wine!
Looking forward to a quiet weekend - Joe bought "Troy" and, although we've seen it once, I think I'd like to see it again. Something about curling up on the couch, snuggled up against my honey, under a warm afghan, fire in the fireplace, watching a good movie.
Stay warm!
What a week this has been!
Wow!
I could leave this post at just that -- WOW! -- and it could suffice to express how I'm feeling. Unfortunately, leaving it at that doesn't tell WHY I feel that way.
Throughout the week, people have stopped in to my office and offered words of support and encouragement.
"Good luck, Pat!"
"You go girl!"
"Congratulations!"
"Give 'em hell!"
"It's about time someone took them to task!"
It's been mind-boggling.
This morning, as I got out of my RAV, I noticed the mailroom supervisor sort of standing in front of her pickup, kicking at the snow absently. She was waiting for me and, as I approached her, she opened her arms and just gave me a huge hug.
It's incredible, the support and good wishes that I've gotten from people at my workplace. I commented this morning that, while it's been empowering, it's also been affirming regarding the people we work with.
One of my favorite faculty members came in on Tuesday, asked me if he could get a handshake from the local "celebrity," and voiced support. Now, this guy has been one of my three favorite people here since the day I met him. He's the only PhD I've ever met that's intelligent, logical, witty, kind, compassionate, down-to-earth, humble, and just plain REAL.
He commented that he doesn't understand why there are so many "educated" people out there that are so closed-minded about this while issue. I told him about a comment I'd seen on an internet message board where a clear-cut homophobe claimed intelligence through college-education and, as a result, should be taken credibly as far as her opinions that simply boiled down to "because I say so." Another poster pointed out to her that all the degrees in the world mean nothing unless you retain the critical thinking skills you learned and used throughout college. That applying narrow focus to an issue was contrary to education, and shows an unwillingness to learn anything that one doesn't WANT to learn. Very powerful, insightful.
This professor also confided that his eldest daughter, highly educated at Cornell, about my age, had joined a fundamentalist type of church about 15 years ago and, he was surprised and also disappointed, that her thinking was very one-dimensional where it conflicted with what she believed to be true, based on how SHE felt the Bible (or, rather, the word of God) should be interpreted.
Now, the thing I love about this guy (besides the fact that he's just a decent human being) is that he's TASTED SO MUCH OF LIFE!
As a young man, he went down south and attended a Catholic college for his first year. He lived with Benedictine monks that year and, as he chuckled, was always hungry because those monks ate terrible food. While he was staying there, he went to a KKK meeting, a "colored Baptist" revival, Catholic mass, you name it, he experienced it. It gave him exposure not only to the PEOPLE in these organizations, but to the belief systems and philosophies associated with them. It gave him understanding.
While attending college in the deep south, he took a part-time job driving school bus -- through the "colored" part of town. He relates that, often, he'd pull up to what appeared to be an empty street corner but, as the bus stopped, he'd begin to see the school children climbing out of ditches, coming out of the woods, or from behind buildings -- so great was their fear of standing alone in the south. He also said that, as part of the route to get those kids to school, he had to go through a white part of town and, as they passed through, he'd look in his mirror and, based on what he saw in his mirror, you'd never know there was anyone on that bus. The children all ducked below the windows so they weren't seen.
He has a degree in English and teaches Art History. He's a Fulbright Scholar, performs some sort of consultant duties to the British government, taught for a semester in China, another semester in Hawaii, and has traveled throughout the world either teaching, or being a student of life. I ADORE this guy -- and he's a Republican!
If this guy told me that he truly believed that homosexuality was wrong, I'd listen up, raptly. In the first place, he'd tell me why he believed that, using logic, rational thought, and citing research and/or studies he's perused. But even if he just said that it was his OPINION, based on his life experiences, I'd have a lot of respect for that, too, because he's spent his life learning about PEOPLE, about their experiences and dreams and values -- he didn't pick and choose who he learned from, he made LIFE a learnable moment.
Oh that we could all do that - the heck with that, if only *I* could do that!
Often, after I talk to him, I'm very aware that he is a far better person than I, and a far better person than any other I have ever met or known. If we could all aspire to be something like him, can you imagine the sort of world we'd live in?
I could leave this post at just that -- WOW! -- and it could suffice to express how I'm feeling. Unfortunately, leaving it at that doesn't tell WHY I feel that way.
Throughout the week, people have stopped in to my office and offered words of support and encouragement.
"Good luck, Pat!"
"You go girl!"
"Congratulations!"
"Give 'em hell!"
"It's about time someone took them to task!"
It's been mind-boggling.
This morning, as I got out of my RAV, I noticed the mailroom supervisor sort of standing in front of her pickup, kicking at the snow absently. She was waiting for me and, as I approached her, she opened her arms and just gave me a huge hug.
It's incredible, the support and good wishes that I've gotten from people at my workplace. I commented this morning that, while it's been empowering, it's also been affirming regarding the people we work with.
One of my favorite faculty members came in on Tuesday, asked me if he could get a handshake from the local "celebrity," and voiced support. Now, this guy has been one of my three favorite people here since the day I met him. He's the only PhD I've ever met that's intelligent, logical, witty, kind, compassionate, down-to-earth, humble, and just plain REAL.
He commented that he doesn't understand why there are so many "educated" people out there that are so closed-minded about this while issue. I told him about a comment I'd seen on an internet message board where a clear-cut homophobe claimed intelligence through college-education and, as a result, should be taken credibly as far as her opinions that simply boiled down to "because I say so." Another poster pointed out to her that all the degrees in the world mean nothing unless you retain the critical thinking skills you learned and used throughout college. That applying narrow focus to an issue was contrary to education, and shows an unwillingness to learn anything that one doesn't WANT to learn. Very powerful, insightful.
This professor also confided that his eldest daughter, highly educated at Cornell, about my age, had joined a fundamentalist type of church about 15 years ago and, he was surprised and also disappointed, that her thinking was very one-dimensional where it conflicted with what she believed to be true, based on how SHE felt the Bible (or, rather, the word of God) should be interpreted.
Now, the thing I love about this guy (besides the fact that he's just a decent human being) is that he's TASTED SO MUCH OF LIFE!
As a young man, he went down south and attended a Catholic college for his first year. He lived with Benedictine monks that year and, as he chuckled, was always hungry because those monks ate terrible food. While he was staying there, he went to a KKK meeting, a "colored Baptist" revival, Catholic mass, you name it, he experienced it. It gave him exposure not only to the PEOPLE in these organizations, but to the belief systems and philosophies associated with them. It gave him understanding.
While attending college in the deep south, he took a part-time job driving school bus -- through the "colored" part of town. He relates that, often, he'd pull up to what appeared to be an empty street corner but, as the bus stopped, he'd begin to see the school children climbing out of ditches, coming out of the woods, or from behind buildings -- so great was their fear of standing alone in the south. He also said that, as part of the route to get those kids to school, he had to go through a white part of town and, as they passed through, he'd look in his mirror and, based on what he saw in his mirror, you'd never know there was anyone on that bus. The children all ducked below the windows so they weren't seen.
He has a degree in English and teaches Art History. He's a Fulbright Scholar, performs some sort of consultant duties to the British government, taught for a semester in China, another semester in Hawaii, and has traveled throughout the world either teaching, or being a student of life. I ADORE this guy -- and he's a Republican!
If this guy told me that he truly believed that homosexuality was wrong, I'd listen up, raptly. In the first place, he'd tell me why he believed that, using logic, rational thought, and citing research and/or studies he's perused. But even if he just said that it was his OPINION, based on his life experiences, I'd have a lot of respect for that, too, because he's spent his life learning about PEOPLE, about their experiences and dreams and values -- he didn't pick and choose who he learned from, he made LIFE a learnable moment.
Oh that we could all do that - the heck with that, if only *I* could do that!
Often, after I talk to him, I'm very aware that he is a far better person than I, and a far better person than any other I have ever met or known. If we could all aspire to be something like him, can you imagine the sort of world we'd live in?
Monday, January 17, 2005
Well, it's back to work!
I haven't been there since the lawsuit was filed and the news hit the pavement.
Besides the numerous voicemails expressing support, I got a couple of emails at my work account, expressing support. From people I don't even know, and never heard of, from within the workplace! Some of them I knew -- and some of them are straight, just supportive.
I found it very liberating, empowering, to hear these messages of support. Still can't figure out what possesses a person to pick up the phone and call someone they don't even know, unless they feel VERY strongly about the subject at hand.
In any case, it makes going back tomorrow a little less worriesome - at least to some degree.
It'll be interesting to see how my superiors interact with me now, too.
I'm finding it hard to stay focused on simple tasks lately -- I'm hoping that by the time I get to work tomorrow, and back into my normal routine, I'll be more attentive to things. That is, provided I'm not wound up like an eight day clock by the time I get there. Last night the forecast was "4-8 inches of lake-effect snow overnight, 3-6 inches tomorrow, 3-6 inches tomorrow evening, and 3-6 overnight." We could see a foot or more by morning. When I drive in this sort of crap, my neck and shoulders are in such pain for the day -- I think I drive REALLY tensed up. Lucky I've got that RAV4 -- it's so sure-footed!
Lisa's reception at work has been good, too, since this thing broke. Her employer was very supportive of what we're doing as a whole, and offered support wherever we might need it, if she can help at all. It's good to know we've got an ally there. One of Lisa's co-workers is fiercely supportive as well - she adores "us" as we are.
I'm actually glad that the story broke on a Friday before a 3 day weekend -- gave it time to "die down" quickly so that, hopefully, it won't be the topic of conversation at the water coolers tomorrow. We'll see....
To those of you that called and wrote, from the bottom of my heart, thank you!
Besides the numerous voicemails expressing support, I got a couple of emails at my work account, expressing support. From people I don't even know, and never heard of, from within the workplace! Some of them I knew -- and some of them are straight, just supportive.
I found it very liberating, empowering, to hear these messages of support. Still can't figure out what possesses a person to pick up the phone and call someone they don't even know, unless they feel VERY strongly about the subject at hand.
In any case, it makes going back tomorrow a little less worriesome - at least to some degree.
It'll be interesting to see how my superiors interact with me now, too.
I'm finding it hard to stay focused on simple tasks lately -- I'm hoping that by the time I get to work tomorrow, and back into my normal routine, I'll be more attentive to things. That is, provided I'm not wound up like an eight day clock by the time I get there. Last night the forecast was "4-8 inches of lake-effect snow overnight, 3-6 inches tomorrow, 3-6 inches tomorrow evening, and 3-6 overnight." We could see a foot or more by morning. When I drive in this sort of crap, my neck and shoulders are in such pain for the day -- I think I drive REALLY tensed up. Lucky I've got that RAV4 -- it's so sure-footed!
Lisa's reception at work has been good, too, since this thing broke. Her employer was very supportive of what we're doing as a whole, and offered support wherever we might need it, if she can help at all. It's good to know we've got an ally there. One of Lisa's co-workers is fiercely supportive as well - she adores "us" as we are.
I'm actually glad that the story broke on a Friday before a 3 day weekend -- gave it time to "die down" quickly so that, hopefully, it won't be the topic of conversation at the water coolers tomorrow. We'll see....
To those of you that called and wrote, from the bottom of my heart, thank you!
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