All or nothing?

I was reading an article this morning about how only about 200 same-sex couples have taken advantage of Connecticut's new Civil Union law. Members of the gay and lesbian community say that, even though this law provides many of the protections of marriage, it's not marriage, and that's why so few have taken advantage of the new law.

We sit back and scream for equality and protection for our families and yet, when we're provided with this type of opportunity to protect our families, we turn it down because it's not enough?

Oh, sure, I want my marriage recognized, but I want my family protected first and foremost. If that means that a civil union is the only way I can protect my family, why would I spit on that and refuse to have any part of it? What kind of message are we, as a community, sending by stridently demanding all or nothing?

Some would argue that settling for less than full marriage rights (as in civil unions) will only further delay full equality for our community, where marriage is concerned, but those that present this argument fail to see that progress sometimes has to be made in small steps. We must learn to walk before we can ever hope to run.

After the introduction of Freddy Krueger (Nightmare on Elm Street series), Jason (Friday the 13th series) and Michael Moore (Halloween series), "slice and dice" movies became very commonplace. We became so desensitized to the violence and gore, that we didn't even bat an eyelash when blood and gore became commonplace on shows such as NYPD Blue, ER, or Law & Order.

NYPD Blue broke ground with Andy calling perps "douchebags," "assholes," "pricks," and similar slang terms. We became desensitized to the use of moderately offensive language on television.

Loving v. Virginia was the groundbreaking decision that allowed whites to marry blacks. In 1967, following this ruling, the same arguments arose then that we hear now. "It's not natural," "What next?" There was great strife and gnashing of teeth from the racists who truly believed that God did not intend for the races to mix. Today, hardly anyone notices when an interracial couple walks down the street together. Oh, sure, you still have your hard-line racists that take issue with it, but they are no longer the overwhelming majority like they were back in the 1960s.

Civil Unions are a first step. They allow us the protections we seek for our families and, at the same time, give the rest of America the opportunity to live next door to us, and realize that there won't be a hailstorm of frogs, storms of fire, or the five horsement of the apocalypse arriving at their door. They'll become familiarized with us, desensitized to their own fears and prejudices, and not even so much as whimper when we're finally given the right to marry -- the right we deserve.

I say, take what we can get and, once we have that, we can work toward getting more.