The Journey Begins

As a bit of a background, here's the situation.

On July 5, 2001, my partner (Lisa) and I went to Vermont and entered into a civil union. For us, it was a formal declaration of our commitment to each other -- and only to each other. We had no wants, needs or desires to shout it to the world or to celebrate it with anyone other than the two of us.

In December 2003 I inquired through Human Resources regarding the possibility of domestic partner benefits, since Lisa's health insurance coverage was going to be reduced by half (her employer had been paying 100% of it). I was told "the (union) contract won't allow it."

As San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples in California, a small town in New York hit the national news radar when it's mayor, Jason West, a 26 year old Green Party representative, announced late one night on the New York City news (a channel we used to get) that he would be performing a dozen or so same-sex marriages the following day, February 27. The following morning I called the New Paltz town complex and was directed to a web site where, I was told, very shortly would be posted information on marriages in New Paltz. I was fortunate to get them when I did because, within an hour's time after that, no phone calls could get through and those that did were re-directed to the web site. The web site took an astounding number of hits!

I sat and just kept hitting "F5" for "refresh" until suddenly a link popped up that simply said "Marriages in New Paltz." I clicked on the link and hurriedly completed the requested information and we were on the waiting list to be married in New Paltz! I knew we had to have gotten on that list quite quickly and we were hopeful that we'd be able to marry very soon.

We got all of our legal documents around, and Lisa put them in an envelope marked "HOLY SHIT! LET'S GO!" and we waited...

On Tuesday, March 9th, just 11 days after getting our names on the waiting list, we got a phone call from the New Paltz Equality Initiative asking if we were still interested in getting married. We were informed that Mayor West would not be doing the ceremonies but that clergy was lined up to do it -- we were to meet at a bed and breakfast that very Saturday (March 13th) at noon.

There were 26 couples married that day in New Paltz -- old, young, with kids, without kids. It was amazing! And even more amazing were the people who worked tirelessly to make this happen for perfect strangers, at no cost to the couples. Additionally, the clergy members from the Unitarian Universalist church who performed the solemnizations were amazing in their support and sacrifice -- they knew they'd face legal repercussions.

We were not issued marriage licenses but, under the provisions of the New York State Family Relations law, a license isn't necessarily mandatory for a marriage. Past precedents had been set whereby the OFFICIANT was held accountable for the lack of a marriage license, but the participants in the marriage were not, nor were the marriages negated unless they were illegal to start with. Same sex marriage in New York state isn't illegal. We were given an "Affidavit of Marriage" and we entered into a "Contract of Marriage" and those documents were notarized and returned to us, along with information on Lambda Legal, Marriage Equality, GLAAD, and the ACLU.

Upon our return from New Paltz, I attempted to put Lisa on my health insurance, based on our new "status." I was flatly turned down, again, with "the contract and the county don't allow it." I informed the HR Director that I wasn't looking for "domestic partner" benefits. I was demanding spousal benefits. Long story short - she poo poo'd me right back out of her office. Problem solved...for her.

It was then that I contacted the local office of the ACLU. I sent them copies of my memos to HR, copies of our Vermont Civil Union license, and our New Paltz documents.

Interestingly enough, as I prepared to rebut the HR Director's assertion regarding the contract, I found that the contract was completely silent regarding health benefits for spouses. I had gone to that specific section so that I could quote the exact language used, to press the case for spousal benefits. However, the section merely said that the EMPLOYEE could enroll, but the contract did NOT contain language that said the employee could enroll their spouse or their dependent children. I pointed this out in my memo to the Director of HR and told her that there seemed to be a "presumption of eligibility" for straight couples and that, to deny me this eligibility violated NY State law (SONDA - Sexual Orientation Non-Descrimination Act).

I sent this information to the ACLU also and I received a response from them that the case sounded "interesting" and they'd get back to me. Within a couple of weeks, I was contacted by the ACLU and told that they would take the case. They asked for some supporting documentation and told me that they'd find a lawyer to work "pro bono" on the case.

As the same-sex marriage train gathered more steam with the pending opening of marriage to same-sex couples in Massachusetts, Lisa and I began to make some plans. In the end, we decided that Governor Mitt Romney (R-MA) was too anti-gay for us to make any firm plans ans that, if he could find a way to stop it, he would. He did -- at least, he found a way to stop out-of-state couples from coming in and marrying.

We turned our attention north -- to Canada. After some bureaucratic requirements were met, we traveled to Niagara Falls on the third anniversary of our Vermont Civil Union and, on July 5 of 2004, we were legally married.

Upon our return, I again sent a memo to HR, demanding spousal benefits. A full month went by before any reply was received and a meeting was set, for myself, my union president, and the director of HR. At that meeting, the HR Director kept referring to my request as "domestic partner" benefits, again. I kept correcting her telling her that, even if domestic partner benefits were suddenly granted to employees, I was no longer eligible for them as I was legally married. This really seemed to confuse her (because she didn't WANT to hear it, if you ask me). Additionally, when I raised the issue about the contract's silence regarding enrollment of spouses, she insisted that the contract did, in fact, allow spouses to be enrolled. The union president and I both insisted that it (the contract) did NOT allow for it. I finally suggested "Read the contract, article 32," and the HR Director reached into her drawer, took out the union contract book, opened it to the correct section and began reading. She flipped the pages forward, backward, read, and re-read and finally looked up and said "Well, it's IMPLIED!"

Implied? I asked her if she was sure her "implied" response would stand up to legal scrutiny. She looked surprised and raised an eyebrow and said "Legal scrutiny?" I told her that she would leave me with no recourse but to take legal action to secure the benefits that were "implied" for opposite-gendered married couples. At the mention of legal action, she became flustered and said that she'd not "clearly understood" what it was I was seeking and that she'd have to re-submit it through....whatever channels. I asked her if 30 days was sufficient time, and she agreed to get me a response within 30 days. That was August 11, 2004.

At the end of August I met with the lawyer that would represent me in the case. I updated him on the meeting and he vowed that by September 10, he wanted to have the complaint filed. Goals are good to have, aren't they? Poor man failed to remember he's working with a bureaucratic organization (ACLU) and that the process would prove to be painfully slow.

I decided that I was no longer going to prompt or hand-feed the director of HR to remind her that she owed me a response. When September 10 came and went without any response, I notified the attorney that the deadline had expired and no response received.

On November 8th I discovered that "open enrollment" was moved up a month and that it would CLOSE OUT on November 15 -- this was because of a new software program that we are going to and this earlier enrollment date would give ample time to get the information entered correctly and to correct any problems which might arise. Realizing that if I didn't get an application in within the prescribed time, the HR Director could simply say "Hey, she didn't apply, what can we do?" I submitted an application to add Lisa to my health insurance policy. I submitted it with a cover letter which simply said that it would document that my application had been submitted within the prescribed time. I gave a copy to the President's legal counsel, our union president, and the HR Director. Amazingly enough, I got a reply from this HR "professional" on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving -- November 23rd. Two and a half months later than was promised, and fully two weeks AFTER having submitted the application.

The response said that the matter had been "carefully researched" and that my employer has no "responsibility" to Lisa. Whatever. Apparently NY State Attorney General Elliot Spitzer's informal opinion on March 3, 2004 where he says that the state is obligated to recognize legal marriages that originate outside the jurisdiction of the state, means nothing to this woman. Doesn't her directorship of HR trump his status as the state's top attorney?

I think it's noteworthy that the ACLU (locally and at the state level) are calling this case "pristene," and very "clear cut." I think that little hole in the union contract regarding the lack of language really cements the whole thing.

In the meantime, the complaint had been drafted and revised. And revised. And revised. And revised. And revised. And revised. I mailed a "retainer agreement" out to the lawyer (required by the ACLU for some reason) on Monday and, as far as I know, the complaint will be filed either tomorrow or Friday.

Let the games begin.