Officials Reverse Position, Lesbian Cop To Get Dying Wish
by 365Gay.com Newscenter Staff

Posted: January 21, 2006 - 10:00 am ET

(Trenton, New Jersey) Ocean County freeholders will grant Laurel Hester her dying wish, to have her death benefit given to her same-sex partner.

Despite state law allowing local governments to grant health and other benefits to the same-sex partners of their employees Ocean County has steadfastly refused to do so.

For months Sgt. Hester, who has inoperable brain cancer, has pleaded with freeholders to pass an ordinance recognizing same-sex partners for the purpose of benefits.

Earlier this week, with only a few months to live, she made a final plea from her hospital room. (story)

Appearing weak, and breathing with the help of a machine, she said on a video tape that she feared partner Stacie Andree would lose the home they shared after Hester dies.

With little doctors can do for, except make her as comfortable as possible, Hester has been a released from hospital and is now at home.

Until she became too ill to work Hester was a lieutenant with the Ocean County Prosecutor's Office. She had worked there for 23 years - more than half her life - and is a member of the New Jersey Police and Firemen's Retirement System.

Although the state's five other pension systems allow its members to pass pension benefits to domestic partners the NJPFRS does not. Under the state's domestic partner law local governments can transfer pension benefits.

The death benefit amounts to about $13,000.

Following Hester's emotional appeal freeholders refused to reopen the issue. But following news coverage including television reports which showed Hester's deteriorating condition, freeholders were besieged with critical phone calls and emails.

Late Friday state Sen. Andrew Ciesla (R-Ocean) said he intends to bring in legislation that would amend the police and fire pension fund to permit domestic partners to receive benefits.

That was followed by a conference call between state GOP leaders from the county and freeholders.

The conference call ended with freeholders agreeing to a special meeting next Wednesday where a new vote will be taken and Hester will be allowed to transfer her benefits.

"This is one of the happiest days of my life," Hester said on Saturday morning. "I feel like David conquering Goliath."

Steven Goldstein, chair of Garden State Equality - the group that fought for Hestor and prepared the video so she could make her final appeal to freeholders - expressed relief on Saturday.

"Truth be told, we did lose hope for a reversal in the last couple of weeks. We had applied all the pressure in the world, embarrassing the freeholders as few public servants had ever been before in the state of New Jersey or in this country, and they would not budge. Finally they did. Hallelujah! There is a God."

Whether Wednesday's vote will apply only to Hester or will be extended to all same-sex partners of county workers is not yet known.

Freeholder James F. Lacey said Saturday that he still feels the benefits issue is one for the legislature. "I don't want to pay to clean up for the state," he said.

But he agreed that Hester's situation cannot wait for state lawmakers to act..

Following Hester's desperate plea this week in Ocean County two other New Jersey municipalities have changed their laws.

Camden County and Passaic passed ordinances offering health and pension benefits to the domestic partners of their employees. (story) Five other communities in the state also provide domestic partner benefits.

Tidbits

I haven't been around here much -- lots going on in my life, and it took me almost an entire week to write it out at my personal blog. Having done so was cathartic and helped me to sort through things pretty well. Hopefully I'll be around a little bit more now.

Well, a year ago today the news article hit the public -- the news article about our lawsuit against my employer. The process has gone laboriously slow, having taken 21 months already, with no real end in sight just yet. However, since it was filed, our employer did agree to domestic partner benefits under the terms of our new union contract. Separate and not equal, but it is a small step. It's costing me $9.60 per month "extra" to carry Lisa on my health insurance. It's costing my employer $112 per month extra. For two separate plans, it was costing us $153.35 per month more for Lisa's, and Lisa's employer the same.

I got a really nasty, caustic email from an "anonymous" writer, telling me that I was going to go to Hell, burn for eternity, yadda yadda yadda, for "embracing your deviant lifestyle and taking others with you."

Whatever.

No big surprise here. Virginia's House of Delegates passed an anti-gay-marriage bill, which will now be sent to the senate for approval before presented to voters.

Virginia law already defines marriage as a union between a man and a woman. Proponents say the constitutional amendment will make it clear that Virginia doesn't have to recognize gay marriages and same-sex civil commitments from other states.

Season three of The L Word started off pretty good Sunday. It was great to see some fun back in the show. Lisa and I nearly peed our pants at the end of the show when the cast was going through their inventory of euphamisms for the female genitalia. Bikini Biscuit, panty hamster, bearded oyster, camel's toe, Velcro triangle, vertical smile, and bald man in the boat were just some of them that got us going. At one point, Dana (who is now back with Lara) is saying that she's always had "polite" terms for hers, per her upbringing, but then Alice (who "happens" to be walking by) steps up and says "What about peeper? It's a wet peeper. It's a hot peeper." Dana grabs her purse and she and Lara quickly exit stage left, with Alice standing behind saying "peeper peeper peeper." If you've ever heard The Vagina Monologues, you've heard of some of them there, too.

It's such a shame that so many television stations have declined to air The Book of Daniel. While I didn't watch it myself (by choice), I was still annoyed to see that some of these stations bowed to pressure from extremist groups. One such group has also presented Washington state lawmakers with a "study" which purports to show that the passage of any gay rights bills could have negative effects on lawmakers at the polls. Legal extortion, I'd call it. Same with the AFA and other groups who call for boycotts against companies that support gay rights or anything gay related. How foolish would we look if we got a group together and called for a national boycott against any company that hires smokers?

Anyhoo...

Happy 2006!

As of January 1, Lisa and I now have "domestic partner" benefits, which allow me to put Lisa on my health and dental insurance, as well as getting a tuition waiver for her if she decides to take classes here where I work. It also bestows beneficiary status to her with regards to my unearned income, should I die while still employed. She already has beneficiary status with regards to my retirement account -- a status granted a couple of years ago by state comptroller Havesi. We're doing the Snoopy dance based on the substantial savings that this will afford us in not having to maintain two separate health insurance policies. We're one step closer, but still have a long way to go.

In other news, I got quite a chuckle this morning out of this article which describes the arrest of an anti-gay pastor for soliciting the services of a male prostitute, who happened to be an undercover police officer.

There seems to be a prevalent theme these days of the most vocal opponents of GLBT equality either having their own sexual exploits discovered, or the discovery that their offspring or other family members are homosexual.

It makes me sit back and anxiously await the "outing" of the likes of Phelps, Falwell, even Bush.

Our Best to You

From our family to yours, our absolute best for the Christmas season and coming New Year.

With this, I'll be signing off until after Christmas.

Snippets

I've been busy with my father (who had a stroke last week), final exams week, Christmas preparations, and sheer exhaustion.

Lots going on in the world of marriage equality.

Of course right at the top of the list is Elton John's Civil Union with his long-time partner. Due to the throngs of fans and media, extra police presence was required and, of course, Elton John was billed for that (about $20,000). I found this little snippet interesting:

Both marriage and partnerships have the same rights and responsibilities but gays and lesbians cannot call themselves married. The difference is critical for gay leaders who point out the inequity in the law, but for non-gays, especially the media, both are the same. The media has seldom used the phrase' civil partnership', opting instead to call the unions 'marriage'.

Frankly, I wouldn't care if they called it purple crunchy peanut butter, as long as the rights are equal.

Scotland began the same civil union law this week as well. Good for the UK!

No word yet on the state Supreme Court ruling out of Washington state regarding the constitutionality of the state's ban on granting marriage to GLBT members.

Legal experts say the court could rule in any of three ways: It could declare DOMA unconstitutional and grant same-sex couples the same rights as heterosexuals, uphold DOMA, or ask the Legislature to resolve the issue.

We'll be watching this closely.

In San Jose, California a judge has ordered the city to stop providing benefits to those GLBT members who were married in jurisdictions where those marriages were legal and valid.

In a Monday ruling Superior Court Judge Mary Jo Levinger said that the city regulation "is contrary to California law and is therefore pre-empted. Furthermore, only marriages between a man and a woman may be recognized by the City of San Jose."

The ruling cites Proposition 22, which was passed by voters a few years ago, which defines marriage as between a man and a woman.

Then there's the on-again, off-again of Ford Motor Company. First they announced their plans to pull advertisement from all things gay, then they backtrack. Some pundits believe that it's less because of the meetings between Ford and the GLBT organizations and more because of the fear that the image of Ford being driven (pardon the pun, but it WAS intended) by extremist religious groups.

"Ford's response wasn't just to an outcry from GLBT people, but to the clear message from our families and friends that we will not tolerate Ford or any other corporations' surrender to the demands of extremist groups like the AFA."

A U.S. Army Private was assaulted at Fort Huachuca, Arizona by a fellow servicemember after it was learned that the Private was gay. The private was made to sleep on a cot in his drill sergeant's office following the attack. The fact that there is a drill sergeant in the picture tells me that this is the old unit that I once belonged to at Fort Devens, which was moved to Ft. Huachuca. And, if this is the case, there are security clearances involved for both the private that was assaulted, and the one who did the assaulting. This is the US Army's Intelligence School and, believe me, there is still a "good old boy" network alive and well in that community in the Army.

The Army has not taken any action against the soldier who committed the assault. Big surprise there.

The city of Indianapolis has passed an anti-discrimination policy in the areas of housing, employment, and public accommodations. Hey, every small step is a step in the right direction, right?

And, direct from the sanctity of marriage files, I bring to you.....my family.

My father, at the age of 68, began an "affair" over the internet with a woman from Brazil. She was married, wealthy, and pretty "loose," so to speak. My father traveled to Brazil a couple of times to see her, and she traveled to the US to see him. My aunt says the two of them visited her in Connecticut, when the Brazilian woman was pregnant. (We really DON'T want to know.)

Eventually my father realized this woman wasn't going to leave her wealthy husband and, when she asked my father to "take care" of her sister, he took her up on it. He married the younger sister quickly and brought her (and her little girl) to the US. His wife is 37 years his junior. She spoke not one word of English when she arrived here, nor did her 9 year old daughter. He spoke not one word of Portugese. He keeps her completely under his thumb, holding her green card over her head if she doesn't behave in exactly the way he thinks she should.

Apples don't fall far from the tree, though.

My brother, who is a year older than I, married in 1974. He was 19, she was 27 and had four kids, ranging in age from 18 months to 7 years. His wife passed away two years ago and, almost immediately, my brother began hanging out next door with a woman (Michelle) who had a couple of kids and was living with the father of the kids. They'd purchased the house together (the woman and her live-in boyfriend/father of the kids). For the past 2 years, it's been pretty well established that my brother and this woman have some kind of relationship. We learned last week that my brother and the woman married in August. Of course, THEY are still living in the same house with the live-in boyfriend/father of the kids and their marriage is a secret to him for what would seem to be obvious reasons.

Yeah...I can see how us queers can fuck up the sanctity of marriage.